Why I'm still alive
by LilKay101
Summary: "Hands touched all the places not to be and i felt the bile rising in my throat. I hate this, I hate them...I hate my life. But I don't end it. Why? Because there are things restricting me from doing so." Karone talks about her day. Karone/?


**Title: Why I'm still alive**

**Rating: Teen **

**Word count: 1,803 I think.**

**Summary: Hands touched all the places not to be and I felt the bile rising in my throat. I hate this, I hate them...I hate my life. But I don't end it. Why? Because there are things restricting me from doing so.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the character from Yu-gi-go!. ****_He _****belongs to ****Kazuki Takahashi****. I only own the character Karone-Marie Romero Mikashi and the other people mentioned in the story. I also don't own the song.**

**Authoress's Notes: Please Review. The make me happy. And favourite and follow. They make me happy too. Oh, and please tell me who the lucky boy is at the end of the chapter. You can even use your OC's. I am a Catholic, so don't you dare tell me about religion and such. Okay? Okay.**

**Enjoy~**

* * *

Why are they staring? Why are they glaring holes into the back of my head? Doesn't the teacher notice this? No, she's leaning against the front of her desk, arms folded while reading to the class about who-knows-what from that book in her hand. I took a glance around the class, immediately regretting it. Some are glaring daggers at me while others give me suggestive looks. I have no idea who to be more scared of, the perverts or the haters. Either way, I'm still gonna end up broken even more. No matter how much times I piece back the pieces, they're always there to shatter it again. It's hard to ignore since the teacher continuously has to tell the class to quiet down. Reason is because they send me threats or words of seduction. They already know that they'll touch me whether I like it or not, so why try?

They bell rings and I'm up and out the door. I'm always the first out, but last to leave since I spend most of my time trying to gather myself and give myself some motivational words. As soon as I'm out that door, I bolt. I don't look back just run. The breeze that slapped me across the face, as I opened the double doors, did nothing to help my escape, instead it covered my face with the long, golden hair of my bangs. I paused, trying fruitlessly to get the hair out of my eyes. I'm not using contacts anymore. except, I'm using eye drops which allows me to see for a limited time. And I have thirty-five minutes before it wares of, knowing this because I spared a glance at my watch.

And the time starts...

"There she is; get her!"

Now.

I ran - tripping multiple times - not caring where I go, once I'm away from them. My heart palpitates, pounding continuously against my chest, wanting oh-so badly to break the barrier. The pain it now starts warns me that I may have a heart-attack, but I can't, mustn't slow down yet! Fright for my heart wracks my body along with the pain stinging in my chest and legs. My lungs aren't getting sufficient oxygen, so I slow down, hiding in an alley way. I take in slow, ragged breaths to slow down my heart rate, and just that moment when relief washes over me, I had a muscle spasm in my leg. Of course I screamed, the pain being shot at me with full force, alerting the others of my hiding space. First comes the girls.

"Oh, so you tried running from us?" the first one mocked, and I noticed a pair of scissors in her hand.

"Yeah," the other two hissed, a match stick and flammable gasoline in one hand respectfully.

What were they going to do to me this time?

The leader, Akari, approached me. If I still had any feeling in my legs, I would've scampered away from her. She latched onto my hair and removed the scrunchie that held it as a pony tail. My hair was considerably long, reaching up to my lower back. She moved to cut the hair but abruptly stopped. A devilish smile slowly tugged her lips.

"I have a better idea." She motioned for the raven haired girl who held the gasoline bottle. "Make sure her hair is drenched with it."

My eyes widened in fair, pink irises pooling with fear and disbelief. I mouthed the word 'no' and clutched onto my hair. The shorter girl slapped my hands away and proceeded to fulfill her leaders orders. I pushed the damp part of my hair, which was from the shoulders down, away as to keep myself as dry as possible. I looked up at the one with the match in horror as she scraped it against the brick wall. She lead the lit match to my hair and soon I was forcing myself not to scream nor cry. I bit my lips, watching the fire devour my precious hair. The flames desperately tried to lick my hands but i stayed still, knowing that it couldn't reach. Suddenly Akari pushed me and I was fortunate that my hair fell above my head. To out the fire, they stamped on the burning strands and managed to get some of my skin as well.

When the light was gone, I shut my eyes, refusing to look at anyone of their faces. I heard them laugh and whisper. Probably making fun of me but I don't care. I felt cold metal against my face and a stinging pain followed it. My face must've gotten cut. Oh well. I opened my eyes once I heard them leave. I sat up and touched the spot on my cheek only to find a little blood and a piece of skin. And to top off this bad moment, my eyesight is becoming blurred. Now for the cherry, the boys arrived for their daily molest. Hands touched all the places not to be and I felt the bile rising in my throat. I hate this, I hate them...I hate my life. But I don't end it. Why? Because there are things restricting me from doing so.

Here I am, approximately one hour later, sitting in a little pool of semen and blood. They finally did it. They finally raped me. My lower regions still hurt and my body is starting to succumb to my injuries. I need to get up, I know. But I can't. The pain in my heart and body is just too unbearable. But, nevertheless, I get, put on my clothes, grab my bag and leave. When I arrived at the huge mansion that I call home, the guards gave me a weary look. The amount of times they've begged me to tell my parents about this bullying problem, they all got the same answer. No.

I returned them a sheepish smile and rushed past them once the gates opened. I ran up the path and entered the house, making a bee-line to my room. After a quick survey of the building while I was running towards my room, I noticed that it was empty. Typical.

"So, first things first," I whispered to myself as I turned on my stereo, Evanescence Before the Dawn and put it on replay.

_Meet me after dark again and I'll hold you_

_I am nothing more then to see you there_

_And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away_

_We'll be lost before the dawn_

I entered my bathroom, and turned on the shower. I needed to get clean, even if it hurts. Once my upper body was clean, I hesitated before proceeding to the lower, washing off the blood and semen which caked on my legs.

_If only night could hold you, where i can see you, my love_

_Then let me never ever wake again_

_And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away_

_We'll be lost before the dawn_

After drying and getting dressed in my usual attire - I white shirt, black skirt which started from my waist instead of hips and ended mid thigh, shirt tucked neatly inside - I stood infront of my bathroom mirror. I hate looking at myself naked so I usually avoid and ignore it. I picked up a scissors and cut the burnt parts of my hair. After doing so, I gave it a quick trim so that it's long in the front and short in the back. I looked myself over, not liking how I had to cut my hair, but loving how my shoulder length hair moved up shorter as it eased to the back. I smiled weekly at my reflection but quickly frowned. My body is now scrawny and my bones were now pronounced against my skin. To me, I'm ugly. An eyesore. But to everyone else, I'm pretty. I wonder if they're just saying that to make me feel better...

_Somehow I know that we can't wake again _

_from this dream_

_It's not real, but it's ours_

I put on my knee high, black boots and entered my bedroom. I looked to the poster of Jesus over my bedhead, on the wall. One of the things restricting me to leave this world, I was put here for a purpose as was he. He found his and now I have to find mines. I balled my hands to fists as a determined look swept across my face. I put up with bullies and an abusive Yami who resides in my mind, but that doesn't even compare to a quarter of his pain. I walked towards the edge of the bed, kneeled and said my daily prayer, as I do every time I arrived from school. It was no secret that my family and I were Catholic, but I also didn't boast about it. I respect other's religions. After the short prayer, I got up and went downstairs. He was waiting in his usual spot.

_Maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away_

_We'll be lost Before the dawn_

_Maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away_

_We'll be lost Before the dawn_

"What's wrong with your hair?" he asked brushing a hand through my hair.

I can't tell him. He doesn't know about the bullying and I tend to keep it this way.

"It's never too late for a change in style," I laughed nervously. He smiled.

"Well, either way, you still look beautiful. Matter of fact, this look suites you better." And with that, he placed a kiss on my nose.


End file.
